By Tania Almeida*

The book Mediation Toolbox - practical and theoretical contributions (Dash Editora) inaugurates the Leia Comigo project. As in my training, multidisciplinarity is a strong characteristic of the work, which does not prestige lines of research or particular theoretical-practical contributions. 

Interdisciplinarity provides a greater wealth of purposes and interventions for Mediation. It also contributes to a diversity of tools that, together, should be at the service of the mediated theme, the profile of the mediated, the timing, the style of the mediator, the impact that is intended to be promoted or achieved.

The title presents some singularities, such as the possibility of quick consultation to a practical resource available in Chapter I, and the immediate access to the theoretical substrate that underlies it, contemplated in Chapter II.

The following selection criterion was to bring to mind subtle interventions and little mentioned in the teaching and readings, and to complement them with reflections collected in years of practice. All highlights are directed at the mediators in their task of coordinating the dialogue.

Mediator: attentive and plural listening 

We must be aware of the possibility that the colonization of discourses to impel mediators and mediatees to pursue a single agenda, with the aim of identifying solutions for a particular issue. The focus on the first speech presented, the subject most impactful (for the mediators, or even for the mediator himself), or the one exposed with greater vehemence, are examples. 

In Mediation, all agendas are multi-thematic, since conflicts are multifactorial – they can be relational, financial, social, legal, among others. The direction of the dialogue will always be the one favored by those involved, but the diversity of themes and views will need to be highlighted by the multifocal lens of the mediators.

Helping those involved to articulate needs and possibilities it is the reality filter that allows you to dry some negotiations. This irrefutable scenario imposed by reality it puts all those involved in action to reach consensus: those who have needs that are unlikely to be met need to prioritize them; and those who have fewer possibilities than those required to serve the other need to try to expand them.

Here I get a ride to talk about the mediator as reality agent, bringing it under the feet of the intermediaries, especially regarding the feasibility and feasibility of the agreements reached, a sieve through which all alternative solutions must pass.

 

 “CONFORMITY OF VALUES DESTRUCTS IMPASSES AND DRIBLES DIVERGENCES”.

 

Convergence of ideas is greatly favored if listening to mediators can permanently, transform “or” into “and”. The antagonism of ideas sometimes advances to the proposition of alternatives, and realizing how they complement each other is the mediator's task. This differentiated listening, which records everything and tries to bring everything together, also needs to be attentive to the moral and ethical values ​​brought to the table. The conformity of values ​​deconstructs impasses and circumvents divergences.

Repetitions and vehement speeches tend to express priorities – in the effort to listen, mediators have in this record important information to clarify and, consequently, welcome and legitimize. Sometimes, the agenda of repetition or exaltation is inhabited by intangible values, especially recognition, trust and respect, which need to gain concreteness when translated into actions. Clarify the meaning of words or expressions abstract – transforming them into actions – is also the task of mediators. 

What needs to happen for trust to be regained, respect regained or those involved to feel recognized?


To end our reading today, a pour-pourri
of reflections:

(i) always check the time necessary for each stage of the Mediation, so that the best of all stages is explored and we can “increase the pie” (
spend the pie) before slicing it;

(ii) the self-implicating questions offered in the private interviews invite each mediator to identify his or her contribution to the disagreement – ​​when everyone can perceive themselves as part of the problem, they therefore need to be involved in the solution;

(iii) we will take care that mediators always leave the room with the perception that they were heard and understood, and that their presence and offer of information were welcomed and valued – summaries are an excellent tool to provoke this perception;

(iv) finally, let's always leave the numbers for the end of the conversation. Numerical data they anchor perceptions and alternatives (more than X or less than X) and should only appear when the pie has already been enlarged. Then, yes, it's time to slice!

blank

Mediation Toolbox - practical and theoretical contributions, by Tania Almeida
Dash Publisher, 2014 – 1st edition
352 pages

In the next read with me, let's visit Daniel Shapiro's ideas and practical tools in his book Trading the Non-negotiable. Until then!

 

*Tania Almeida – Master in Conflict Mediation and Dialogue Facilitator between individuals and/or legal entities. For 40 years, she has been designing and coordinating dialogue processes aimed at mapping, crisis prevention, change management and conflict resolution. She is the creator and founder of the MEDIARE System, a set of three entities dedicated to dialogue – research, service provision, teaching and social projects.

 

Also get to know the e-Books IN A FEW WORDS… by Tania Almeida clicking here.